and i u n f o l d

Just 3 days after a performance, and I’m back to dancing again. There’s DR coming up in mid-September; we just started learning new choreography for that so these next 3 weeks are gonna be crazy.

I got picked to do it, which is kinda cool cos not everyone’s doing DR. I skipped class today, which turned out to be a good thing cos we (us five girls in our section of the item) learnt all the choreography in the 2 hours or so. It’s… interesting. Heh. It’s a very girly, sexy, you-know-you-want-me sorta dance. Hahahaha. Odd description. Basically a lot of hip, shoulder, butt action and a lot of arching of the back (which, lemme tell you, hurts after a while). Heh. Think Destiny’s Child. Ciara. That type of sexy-sensual-hot-as-hell dancing. LOL. It’s nice and I like it, but I know it’s gonna take me a while (and a lot of obssessing) to make it look way better than it does now. Cos it does not look sexy-sensual-hot-as-hell now. Nowhere near skanky. Heh. Of course, the hilarious thing is that Pat does it better than any of us girls. Hahahahah. Sad, but true. Hopefully, I’ll get more comfortable with it and into the groove as the performance-day gets nearer.

That aside, I’m trying desperately to get into the swing of school. Full-time dancer and part-time honors student, I joke. But I won’t want to completely suck this semester. So tomorrow, I’m planning on doing a lot (”") of reading; catching up on last week and doing this week’s stuff. And I spent about an hour in the library today, photocopying stuff which I need. Finally, some kind of productivity.

Aaccck. 2 days to 22. Daaaamn. I dunno if I’m gonna do anything on my birthday. I don’t particularly feel like doing anything, but I think my mom wants to take me out for dinner and whatever. So, most probably, I’m just go along with that.

22.

Maaaaan, I feel old.

Photos from the performance last night are here! And now, I’m apparently not skanky but skankylicious. Hahahahah. Maaaaaaan.

I know that I’m a skinny girl, but I honestly don’t really realize just how thin I am until I see myself in photos. And then, I’m like, “Damn, I’m effing skinny!” LOL. Sounds weird, but it’s true. Anyway, I loooove most of the photos. The lighting backstage is bloody nice and the green/yellow photographs really well. So now I really find myself liking green and yellow! Hehe. The red/black looks good too, but we didn’t really have time in between to take photos so there’s a sad lack of them. Oh wells. I also love my hair color. Hehe. It’s like I never want to go back to my darker color. Hahahha. Alas, my hair is growing out and when I look really closely at my roots, I can see the color difference. Gah. Dang, I sound bimbotic. I’m gonna stop now. Haha.

It’s kinda sad that it’s all over now. We worked on that for almost 3 months, and then the performance-day comes and *snap fingers* just like that, it’s all over. I can’t wait until we get to see a video of it!

I managed to drag myself to school this morning, much of my surprise. Barely 4 hours of sleep, not to mention a long day and long nights of rehearsal early this week, but I was a functioning person. LOL. Of course, by 2pm, my steam ran out. Dude, there’s only so much a body can take under such circumstances and 6 straight hours of political theory classes is not one of those things. Gaaaaah. But I survived, and I had a nice nap just now, so all’s good again.

I’m amazed at how good I am at not letting school-stuff get me down. I mean, I see some friends who are also honors students stressing out like crazy and driving themselves to the brink of exhaustion for that ever elusive A or whatever they’re aiming for… and I’m just like, “Hmm, okay.” Hahahha. Bloody slacker, I am. But more and more (and admittedly my contemporary political theory class is adding to this conviction of mine, which I already had prior to this), I think there’s just no use in taking anything too seriously. Not that life is a joke, cos it’s not. But it is what it is: you live, you die, and so you might as well make every moment count and do what you want to do. Do what you love; you might as well enjoy as much of life as you can.

I dunno. I don’t wanna think about deep stuff right now, so I’ll just leave it there. Heh.

It’s the weekend! It’s the weekend! *twirls like Nick*

When you come down from an adrenaline high, exhaustion hits you hard.

The show tonight was awesome. I still think that for me nothing will ever beat the crazy electric atmosphere at the Kamikazi performance at Journey last year… but that’s just me. Heh. . None of the my friends embarrassed me by screaming out stupid things but I did hear my name a few times which was cool. Hahaha. It was fun; the energy was good and I think everyone stepped it up. It’s hard not to get hype when you know there’s an audience right in front of you.

Pre-show was organized chaos. I helped Jen with her hair and got my make-up and hair done on my own. I was all sparkly, which I liked. Hahahha. Me and sparkles. Took a bunch of photos, which was fun. I love the lighting in the dressing rooms; it’s very flattering. Heh. (The lighting out in the foyer was baaaad, which is why I don’t particularly like the photos I took there. Meh.) And the green and yellow clothes looked good too.

I got some jitters pre-show. My brain sorta like froze when I mentally recapped steps. But, I told myself not to overthink it and just do it.

Like I said, the show went well. No major boo-boos from me. Hahahha. It would’ve been disastrous if I had screwed up cos I was in front a few times. I really enjoyed myself and just sorta let it all out. Hahah. That sounds wrong, but it’s true. Hani said I was skanky (I was not!) and even my mom said that I looked as though I didn’t hold anything back. Which is good, cos that’s the way it should be. dancer!Liza is like a whole ‘nother person. Hahahahha. Laaaaame.

Got some compliments, and that’s always nice. Heh. My mom and my aunt came to watch. And Jade, one of my friends, commented that I should’ve asked my dad to come cos the subject matter (inter-racial marriage) is relevant to him and my mom. Hahahah. I cracked up at that. My mom was supportive as always, which is awesome.

Anyway. I left with my mom and aunt and we went to City Hall to get something to ear (me) and have coffee before going home. And now I feel exhausted and I think I’m falling sick. Meh. And I still things to do for tomorrow (aka readings).

At any rate, today was a goooood day. Had a great time dancing and bonding with the peeps. And performing is always a blast. (Haha, bad pun!) I’ll put the photos up when I get the time. :)

P/S: I was not skanky! Hahahahha.

Today is a special day for 2 reasons:

1) Happy birthday to Chad! I don’t care that he’s blissfully married, he’s still my not-so-sekrit-boyfriend!

Speaking of Chad, last week’s OTH episode was the alternate reality one…. and damn, that’s the way the show should’ve gone. Badass!Lucas was hot as hell yo. Chad can be so bland when he’s playing goody-two-shoes Lucas but badass!Lucas gave me heart palpitations (in a good way). Hee. It might just be my residue Tristan-love, but I totally think that bad-boy roles are his thing.

2) It’s my I-saw-M5-and-Johnjohn-in-concert-OMG!-SQUEEEE! anniversary. Yessireeee, this time last year, I was rocking out and singing along to their tunes, which drooling over the hotness. Ah, good times. Damn good times. Can’t believe it’s been a year! Gaaaaah.

And of course, today last year was also my first day of classes at UNC. I had never been so excited about the start of classes before. Hahahah. And it was a pretty awesome first day too cos I really enjoyed those classes.

Heh. “Today last year” is such a weird phrase. But, just to warn you let you know, I’ll probably be using those words a lot in the next few weeks. Hahaha. Bring on the nostalgia! I want to go back to Carolina!!!

These last 2 days have been rough. My nights have been busy with rehearsals leading up to the show tomorrow (!!). Last night was especially bad; we ended at nearly midnight! Thank goodness, my friend’s dad gave me a lift home.

Full-dress rehearsal again tonight but hopefully it won’t end as late as yesterday. Everything’s shaping up to be pretty good so hopefully the show will go well. Personally, I think I’m doing okay… although sometimes, I still wish we had mirrored walls so that I can watch myself and see how I’m doing! Heh. But the choreography has become muscle-memory now, so barring a really horrible brain freeze, I should be fine. *taps on wooden table*

Meanwhile, I have about 2 hours to kill before our 7pm call-time. I need to catch up on my reading!

Time to reminisce: this time last year, I was already in Chapel Hill. School hadn’t yet started, but there was all that orientation stuff. Felt a little lost most of the time, but, naturally, that facade of confidence was in place. Heh. I was a lot excited to be there. You know that feeling of anticipation you get when you’re about to start/do something that you know that will be totally wonderful? That’s what I felt. It’s hope, I guess.

I’m trying not to think about all that, cos it’s so bittersweet. And it just makes me sorta sad. That I was feeling totally different about my life this time last year than I am right now. Not that that feeling can be recreated (and I think that’s part of the beauty of that whole experience- it’s extra-special cos it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing)…. but it’d be nice to feel something akin to that.

One thing I can be thankful for, I guess, is that I seem to be more positive about school this semester thah I was last semester. Last semester was definitely a slump, and I was off in La-La land a lot. Two weeks of school have passed, so maybe this semester will pass by quickly. More and more, I can’t wait to graduate. I just want to be done with this, I think. (Hmm… we’ll see how I actually feel when graduation time finally grows nearer.) But this semester is shaping up to be pretty interesting, so it’s not too bad. Plus, I have a 3-day week so it’s great not having to drag myself to school everyday. heh.

Performance is this coming Thursday, which is exciting. Rehearsals every night for the next three days? Not so exciting. But a necessary evil. Still, the performance should be fun. Some of the girls are coming to watch and they’ve threatened to embarrass me. Hahahha. Greeeeeat.

I’m really missing Juju. The iPod color is selling for about $450 at school, and I’m so unbelievably tempted to buy it. Gaaaaaaah. I still haven’t had the chance to see if I can get Juju repaired, so I figure I should do that first. And wait, y’know… maybe the urge to buy will fade a little. Heh.

It’s my mommy’s birthday today! We’re going out for dinner later tonight.

Eeeek. 10 days to my own birthday. The older you get, the less a big deal birthdays become.

Yesterday was slightly… odd. Heh. Juls got free tickets for this jazz concert by Stacey Kent so we (Hani, Cal, myself) went with her. I’m not particularly a jazz fan, so it was a little odd. Her music was a little too mellow for me, although she has a really nice voice. And Hani and I were trying to amuse ourselves during the concert. Hahahaha. Anyway, the concert reinforced my love for pop music/concerts. I was like joking, “I’m uncultured and vulgar!” LOL. I like my concerts to be loud, sparkly, with a thumping bassline, strobe lights. Dancing is optional but a charismatic singer is a must. Hee. And the crowd should be into the music: dancing, singing along, screaming, whatever. The jazz concert was a little too sedate for me. Heh.

Blaaaaah. Feeling restless. I need something to do. Blaaaaah.

I’m tired. I wanna say something but I’m too lazy. So, since I got tagged by Suraiya, I did this survey thingy.
(more…)

Today was a Flashback to the 90s day. Hahahahah. It was crazy fun.

Cal and Hani came over to watch Take That videos. If you don’t know who Take That is, chances are, this whole post will mean nothing to you. Heh. But yes, Take That! Forget Backstreet and NSYNC, Take That was the boyband of the 90s. They were awesomely cheesy in the beginning, but by the Everything Changes-era, they were just plain awesome. Damn good pop music.

It was so nostalgic. We watched Live in Berlin, the Everything Changes video and the Greatest Hits. (Yaya, we need to borrow Hometown from you!) Good times yo. We were cracking up, singing along, snarking, squeeing, lusting after certain members, exclaiming over how good some of their songs are. My mom saw us, and she was like, “How long ago was that?”. Hahahaha. (For the record, it was about 10 years ago. Damn, I feel old.)

We all have our favourites (I got mocked for being a Gary fangirl… whatever. He’s a damn good singer-songwriter) but we were suddenly converted to the Jason-love. The hot bod, the breaking, the chiselled jawline… suddenly, years and years later, we see the appeal. Hahahaha.

Conclusion: 10 years on, and we still love Take That. Hee.

Then, we watched more 90s stuff. I have like a freakin archive of videos (most probably cos I’m the one with the VCR) and I rummaged around cos Hani wanted to see some Damage stuff. (Damage… another name that will mean nothing to a lot of people.) And I found the tape! It had a taping of their performance at HMV (I was there though I wasn’t with Hani) and other stuff. So we watched that… which was kinda funny. The performance itself was good; we were just sighing over Jade (and Coree) and over how well they sing. And then there was the stuff of them at the airport, which was amusing to say the least.

Then from there, we watched parts of the Hello concert from freakin eons ago. Hahahah. Code Red was at that concert… and a bunch of other 90s boybands. LOL. So classic. We were like singing along to the songs we knew, commenting on the groups and all that. Then we watched a bunch of random stuff I taped.

Anyway. I realize that I really like 90s music. That was like my era. Heheh.

This week in review

The Lows:

1) School is starting next week.

2) Juju died. *wails* I don’t know exactly what went wrong. He was working fine for me the last time I had him, which was Saturday evening. Then Yazid borrowed him Saturday night. Next time I tried to used him (Monday afternoon), songs starting skipping like crazy… and then, I get the Apple logo and the folder with an exclamation mark. NOT GOOD. At all. I just about freaked cos I know that icon doesn’tmean good things. I didn’t have internet access cos I couldn’t immediately find a solution online. I fiddled around with Juju on Tuesday, tried just about every possible solution I could find… but nothing solved the problem. My computer didn’t recognize him, though I did get the beepy thing that tells you that a connection is made. Couldn’t switch him on. Couldn’t do anything. I did a HDD scan… and I got the sad-face iPod icon. That’s like the dead knell.

I’m upset, to say the least. I think I’m still in shock over it. Denial. I’ve only had him for less than a year and now he’s gone. Le sighhhhh. I’ve gotten so used to having 2000+ songs at my fingertips, and now I have to do without. I haven’t yet had the time to go to the AppleCentre to see if I can get it repaired; but he’s not under warranty and I think it’s gonna cost a quite a bit. So, I dunno. I’ll go and see what they can do… and if it’s too expensive, that’s it. I might end up buying a new one, but definitely not now. I can’t afford to spend that kind of money (the new iPod color is like SG$500). So I have 10GB of music that have no home (Oh God, Tristan better not die on me too!).

3) The start of technical/dress rehearsals for the dance performance. Not really a low per se, but it’s just really tiring. There are a few sessions that are already confirmed and they all start at 7pm and will, obviously, end late. What with me living halfway across the country, it’s just not fun to have such a long day. But it’s a necessary evil so I’m just gonna suck it up.

4) My independent study. I was intending to do something on religion and politics and that topic has been a bit of problem in terms of finding a prof to supervise. So, given my interest in political theory, I think I’m doing one in the subfield instead. I’ve emailed one of my profs about it, and he gave me a go on being my supervisor. So, in the next few days, I need to start looking at possible areas of research, resources, and that kinda thing. Need to schedule an appointment with him too.

5) My air-con started leaking. Again. Even though my dad had it serviced about a month ago. Argggh. No AC + humid/hot weather = BAD

6) My appointment to color+highlight my hair was cancelled. Twice. I give up. I still kinda wanna do it, but I’ll probably get it done someplace else.

7) I got fuckin spoiled about something major that happens in HBP. Bloody hell. Grrrr.

The Highs:

1) BRAND-SPANKIN’-NEW COMPUTER! *twirls like Nick* It arrived on Monday. Since I’m into naming my gadgets after my favourite characters (laptop is Tristan (Dugrey), iPod is/was Julian (Sark) aka Juju), I named this BRAND-SPANKIN’-NEW computer Logan (Echolls). Woooooo!

Here are some of the specs:

19″ flat screen monitor.
Pentium 4. 3.20Ghz.
200GB hard drive.
512MB 400Hz DDR SDRAM.
DVD writer.
DVD-rom drive.
Front access 9-in-1 media reader (2 USB ports, Firewire & the like).
Wireless networking, keyboard, mouse.

Hee! And we have a printer/scanner/copier/fax machine.

So yes, Logan makes me a very happy camper. He is so awesome and pretty and I love him so much. LOL. I foresee many happy days ahead. And with so much space and a more stable system, I can get back to downloading episodes! Totally looking forward to the new tv season. :)

2) I cleaned my room. Which is quite a feat, really. My study area is the cleanest it’s been in a long, long time. I can actually see my table now. Hahahaha. And it’s nice to go into the new school semester with a tidy table. Heh.

3) School. I know I said it’s a low… but it’s a little high too. Very little. Heh. I’m looking forward to some of my classes. I mean, last semester was a major post-exchange slump. I was so not feeling it at all; mentally I was like, “Pfffft!”. It was such a bummer to be back, and I couldn’t be bothered with anything. It was pretty bad.

So, given that, I hope this semester will be better. Some of my classes sound interesting. And I’m gonna try and start off with a good foot and keep up with everything. *crosses fingers*

I think, if it wasn’t for Logan, this week would be a damn sucky one. But the week is ending soon enough, and hopefully next week will be better.

It’s funny how things seemed to have picked up a lot now when my hols are coming to an end. I’ve been more busy (aka hanging out with people and stuff… heh) with God-knows-what, going out more… generally been more active. Not that that’s hard, given that I was a bloody slacker for two effing months. Heh heh.

I was out most of the weekend. Thursday was spent with my parents: we went to Parkway to look around and then to Ikea… and I ended up feeling dead on my feet. Friday wasn’t any better; I had a hair cut (cut off a few inches, trimmed my bangs… nothing too drastic) and then hung out with Cal and Hani. Walked too much and again, I felt dead on my feet. Saturday, I had dance in the afternoon. Then I had dinner with my aunt’s family. We went to the Changi Village Hotel for their seafood buffet dinner. I’m not particularly a seafood person (I’m a meat person yo) but that was pretty good. Ate too much prawns. Hahaha.

During the dinner, I got mercilessly ribbed about my lack of a boyfriend. And they weren’t even subtle about it. There was this cute waiter, and I was trying not to be conspicious about checking him out, but my mom was all like asking my uncle (who works at that restaurant) to introduce him to me and that kinda stuff. It went something like this:

Mom: You should introduce him [points to Cute Waiter, hereafter known as CW] to her [points to me]
Me: [continues eating and prays that nothing will happen]
Uncle: I think he might be attached.
Mom: Really? That’s a pity.
Aunt: Yeah, I bet someone like him already has a girlfriend.
Uncle: I’m not too sure.
Mom: You should ask him.
Me: Oh God, no.
Uncle: I guess so. [calls out to CW]
Whole table: [laughs/groans]
Me: [wishes I had an invisibility cloak]
Uncle: [with an innocent look] Can I have a refill of water?

Seriously, no subtlety at all. I was mortified. Oyyyy. Plus, I bet that CW could hear the conversation and the well-timed laughter probably didn’t help at all. *face palm* And then apparently, the manager or whatever wanted to be introduced to me or some shit like that (I feigned ignorance and didn’t pay attention to whatever my aunt and mom were talking about so I dunno exactly what was going on) and that just made me feel uncomfortable. My aunt was like extolling the virtues of this dude and I just tuned out.

What-effing-ever.

FortheloveofGod, please stop. I am so bloody fucking sick of people (ie. “well-meaning” family members) bringing up the topic of a boyfriend, marriage, trying to foist guys off on me and related shit like that. Fucking hell. It irritates the crap out of me.

Argh. Enough of that. Just thinking about it makes me wanna throw something, preferably into tiny little glass pieces.

My brother is suddenly into green. He bought a green mesh cap and then a green jacket. The jacket is in a similar style to the one YKW was wearing in one of my our photos together. So imagine the look on my face when, on Saturday, Yazid wore both the green cap and jacket. I did a double take and was disconcerted for like 15 minutes. Heh. It was… weird. Cos, I always associate that shade of green with YKW, and I vividly remember seeing him in that green jacket and cap… so seeing someone else, let alone my brother, wearing just a similar outfit just threw me for a loop. Heh. He asked me what was wrong when he noticed me giving him an odd look; I told him that his outfit reminded me of a friend and when I showed him the picture, he laughed.

Speaking of green, we’re wearing green for one of the dances in our upcoming performance. Green and yellow, really, cos we’re going for a Brazilian/Jamaican theme. I have this green cropped jacket with yellow trim, which is uber cute and I’ll be wearing that. I was showing that to one of my dance friends, and she asked me if I liked green. Heh. I was like, “No, not really, but I’ve recently become more… erm, open to it.” Hahahahahaha. I was amused at myself for my not-so-glib answer.

Anyway. I’m exciteeeeed because my dad bought a new computer! *twirls like Nick* My super-old desktop has finally committed suicide, which was inevitable after it crashed so many times. So, we said bye bye to it and are getting a brand-spanking-new one! We’ve been using my laptop to get online for the past week (cos I don’t think my fam could handle an entire week without internet access… hahahah), which is nice, but I can’t wait for the new one. And it comes tomorrow. Yaaaaaaay! More RAM, more disk space, a flat screen, a dvd-writer and all that good stuff. The tiny computer geek in me will be a very happy camper tomorrow. Hee. This is perfect timing actually, cos I was planning on bugging the parental units for a new computer for my birthday.

And yes, a month to my birthday. A month to 22. Aaaaack. One step closer to my mid-twenties and the quarter-life-crisis that I’m sure awaits me.