and i u n f o l d

Oveeeeeeeer.

Final-freakin-ly. Holidays! Woooo! *dance of joy*

Things to look forward to:

Dance: I’m taking part in a competition for the first time in forever. Someone asked me if I would want to join his team and after thinking about it, I decided to go for it. :) We have about a week to get everything together so I’m psyched. And dance! It’s been so long! Wooo! We start practice on Friday.

Paris. (Enough said. I’d only be more excited if I was going back to Carolina. Heh.)

Dance camp: Hmm, I don’t know if I’m going, actually. At the v. least, I might drop by for the classes. Hehe.

Shopping! Haha. Yeah, I feel like spending some money. ;)

Mexican dinner thingy with Aishah. We talked about going to eat Mexican food for like eonssss. Haven’t gotten around to it. Hopefully when she cmes back from her hols, we can arrange something. Mexican food- Woooo!

Hanging out with the posse- of course.

Reading- there are some stuff that I wanna read (like “Atlas Shrugged”! Poor book has been sitting on my shelf for a long-ass time).

And there are things to do: like sort out my ISMs (Gaaaaaaaah! *headdesk*), see if I can squeeze in time for training for this part-time job my Mom hooked me up with, clean my freakin’ messy room. I’m sure there are more, but I don’t want to think about them. (Yet.)

Then comes 2006! I’m actually looking forward to it.

For now, I wanna enjoy the feeling of having absolutely nothing to do.

3 exams down, 1 more to go. A huge load off my shoulders now that it’s mostly over. My next one is on Tuesday and I’ve got some time to get all my cramming in. Haha. And then, finally, the semester is over. One more to suffer through, and then I’m done. Donedonedone.

After watching GoF, I actually sat down and composed my thoughts about the movie. Then I got tired so it remains halfway done. Heh. I’m most probably gonna watch it again with my mom sometime next week, so once I see it again, I’ll write something about it.

So, it turns out that we’re not going to Istanbul. My mom was the only one who was really enthusiastic about it so she’s most disappointed that we didn’t get tickets for the flight. Instead, we’re going to Paris. And maybe Germany? I dunno exactly what the parentals are planning, but we’re definitely gonna be in Paris. I think it’s gonna be awesome. The last we were there was back in summer ‘98 around the time of the World Cup. It was kinda crazy and experiencing the World Cup was cool but I’d definitely like to experience Paris as it is. So yeah, it’s gonna be good.

This is most probably gonna be my second last trip on the freebie tickets. Sigh. Years and years of being lucky enough to travel, and it’s almost coming to an end. I can probably squeeze in another freebie trip before I graduate next year; I’m hoping to go to Carolina again, actually. Except that I wanna go around August and I don’t know if I’d still be able to get a freebie ticket. Le sigh. If not, maybe I can do that backpacking through Europe with friends thingy that I’ve always wanted to do. (Or maybe I can go to Japan? Hehe.) We’ll see what happens. And then after that, my days as an SQ passenger are numbered given how motherfreakin’ expensive their tickets are. Heh. My mom joked that next time we go on a family holiday, I’d have to take a different (read: cheaper) airline. Riiiiiight. (SIA, I loooooove you. *sniff* LOL.)

Remember my insistence of being at front row at the Backstreet concert? My insistence comes at a price. I admit my insanity: I’m paying S$250 for the Backstreet concert. Yessireeeee, it’s scheduled for Jan 24th at the Indoor Stadium. I thought about it, and decided to go with the VIP tickets. Yup. VIP. ‘Cos I’m crazy like that. I bought tickets together with the peeps at the sg bsb community and we’ve been promised 3rd row seats. (The first 2 rows are for sponsors apparenty. To which I say, WTF? So 3rd row is apparently as good as it gets.) And hopefully the organisers will include some other perks with the VIP tickets cos damn that’s a lot of money. Cal and the rest who are going are getting the $160 tickets (which are the priciest non-VIP tickets), which will get them seats from the 10th row onwards. 3rd row vs. 10th row onwards? You just know that I had to shell out that extra $90. LOL. Being a fangirl is expensive yo.

But yeah, I’m excited! I mean. Backstreet! Third row! OMG, will my fangirly heart survive? Heheheh. (My mom does not know I’m paying that much. I’ll be scolded for it, I’m sure. Haha.)

I’m listening to the new INXS album! Found it online, and daaaaamn. How much do I love JD? He sounds different. Good but different; I guess I’m used to hearing his voice “live”, so hearing studio!JD is a new experience. I really really hope that they’ll tour here. So that I can spend an obscene money on seeing them live. Hahaha. I’ve been a little out of the loop wth JD-stuff cos I haven’t been to the forums lately. Gah. Need to see what I’ve missed.

Anyway. I need to update JD!pod with new music. Hehe. Yay for new music!

Damn, I’m tired. I handed in my last paper of the semester today. Yay! Since I’m the world’s greatest procrastinator, I didn’t start writing til last evening. Slaved until about 5am before trying to get some shut-eye. Only managed to get 4 hours of sleep (I think my brain was still on the damned paper) before getting up and staring at MS Word some more. Finally at around noon, I surrendered. Heh.

After dragging myself to school to hand it in, I hung out with Cal and Hani. Had lunch/dinner before shopping a little. I bought this cute tanktop with “baby girl” on the front- I just had to get it. Heh. God knows what we did for those few hours but next thing I knew, it was 10pm and I had to haul myself home. Long train ride home, but I napped. ;)

Anyway, there were a few funny moments as usual. Those two totally mock my Nick!love. :P We talked about the funny/embarrassing things that could happen if/when I meet Nick. Hahahha. We created a bit of a ruckus at Liberty supermarket, for I dunno what reason. They’re coming over on Sunday to watch VM, and Cal was trying to convince us that we should try to cook. Yeah right. We’re all hazards in the kitchen. Haha. There was a moment when Cal asked Hani to translate some Spanish on a Cap’n Crunch cereal box and that “translation” that Hani pulled out of her ass was coincidentally quite right. (Since Hani’s versed in Spanish via lyrics of “No Me Ames”. Hahahaha.) Then Hani spent a crapload of time deciding what color hair dye to buy. And that was comedy all on its own. Hahaha. Like me saying, “Let me channel my inner Japanese.” (cos some of the boxes had instructions in Japanese) which cracked Cal up for some reason.

Anyway. I’m tired but I feel awake. Gaaaah.

HP GoF movie on Wednesday! *dance of joy* It’s that time of year to perv on young boys again! So excited!

Nostalgia hit me (again… for like the two hundredth time) today. I dunno if it’s cos I’m wearing a Carolina tee… or if my subconscious chose the tee ‘cos of the nostalgia. Heh. Or maybe it’s cos I’ve been firing off emails to people, wishing them luck for JIA which is today! At any rate, I dug out my photo album. And that didn’t really help. But hey, I’ve been good- I haven’t whined about missing Carolina in a while. LOL. So this is like, overdue or something. ;)

I’m not usually one to post photos here. (In some ways, I’m more of a words person than a photos person.) But I just feel this sudden need to reminisce and photos help to sorta bring back the memories and everything. This is gonna be pretty long, but what the hell. I’m indulging myself. (Plus I’m freakin procrastinating. Paper due on Monday. Ugh.)

So here are my favourite memories of Carolina.

(FYI: There are a lot “” of photos though I resized every one of them. Yes, I was that bored.)

(more…)

So, I think I’m still in shock about the Backstreet thing. Hopefully confirmation will come ASAP. Don’t care how much the tickets are; I must be front row. MUST. My inner 14-year-old will not accept anything else. And if the posse don’t wanna go (but y’all will, right? Right?), thankfully I know some other fans who will be equally crazy enthusiastic. Heh.

I saw their “I Still” video. First of all, I love that song. One of my faves on the album. The video? Pretttty. Nothing can top JWYTK for sheer entertainment value, but this one was pretty. Nick? Looked good. (Hell, they all looked good.) Boyfriend gets so into it but it wasn’t over-the-top in this one. This was a nice balance. Can’t believe that the director is only 19! Talented people- gah! Envy.

From one boyband to another. I’ve been on a bit of a downloading spree (LJ!fandom is awesome like that) and got a clip of NSYNC’s Wal-mart mini-concert from way back when (aka 1998 or so).

I LOVE Baby!Sync. Looooove. But most of all, I love baby!Justin. Oh, the days when he had the blond curly hair. The days when he wore wifebeaters. The days when his body was like WOAH. (And yes, he was like 16-17 then…. but hey, I don’t feel bad perving on him since I’m younger than him anyway.) baby!Justin was hot as hell. He was shamelessly hot as hell, and well, everyone enjoyed it. He had the cocky bastard thing going on (not that he isn’t now, but it’s different) and was just v. charismatic (again, not that he isn’t now).

Anyway, the Wal-mart concert thingy. Not a full video but rather like highlights. But it’s all good. And baby!Jup killed me. First was the hot dancing (shit, even back then, boyfriend knew how to moooove). Then there was the beatboxing. And then, he takes off his shirt. Oh yeah. I just about fell out of my chair when they started IWYB and he was in his little wifebeater. Lastly there was the dance break in IWYB, where he danced in said wifebeater. Geeeez. It’s no freakin’ wonder why every other girl got on the Justin bandwagon. There was no defense against him yo.

I also got their Leno perf of TUMH. I’ve seen it before, but had to download anyhow. Hahaha. I love that perf; it’s too cute. They’re in baggy Karl Kani outfits (matching!) and they’re just adorable. And again, baby!Justin is both the cutest and hottest thing ever. Le sigh.

I just love baby!Justin. Damn, I feel like watching Puppy footage now. Except that it’s the wee hours of the morn and I’d probably wake everyone up. Hahahah.

Awwww, I [heart] all my crazy obsessions. How bored would I be without them? Heh.

All this squeeing has made me tired.

I have a shameful confession to make:

I have a secret desire to be one of those cutesy couples who wear matching/color-coordinated baju kurung. *hides face* Of course, first I’d need a boyfriend. And then I’d have to persuade him to wear matching clothes. Hahahahha. Whatever. Someday, it will be achieved.

I hung out with Cal for a bit today. First time I’ve been out with friends in eons. At least a month. Probably more. Annd I got some retail therapy, which is always good. I finally got a blazer! A black one with cap sleeves Very Veronica, very cute. I was a happy camper. And I got shoes. Cheap, pretty shoes. And they don’t seem to hurt my feet. Hurrah! I was also a little tempted by this small, cute pink purse. But decided against it. I was also thinking about this mini-skirt. Hmmm. Oooh, I wanna go back and buy more blazers! Need to get more ‘cos I loooove them.

Okay, I just heard that apparently BSB ARE COMING HERE! OMG! Nick!MyOTL! (Okay, I know I just said that JD’s my new OTL…. but hey, a girl has the prerogative to switch back and forth. LOL.) This is beyond awesome! It’s been like 9 years. And I mustmustmust meet Nick. I don’t care who I have bribe, kill or maim. Or how many other fangirls I must shove out of the way. MUST. MEET. NICK! And Brian. (OMG, Brian! Live! Singing! *dies*) And AJ. (And dang, like a true girly girl, I thought, “Damn, I must look nice when I meet them!” Hahahahha. Goodness gracious, all my brain cells must have died cos of the shock of this news.)

Between this and hopefully seeing YKW again and graduating, 2006 is shaping up to be a great year. Heheheheh.

Meanwhile… we still got a bit of 2005 to go. One more paper for me to write (Argh!). Exams. And then I’m going to Turkey with the family. Which should be fun. I was a little lukewarm about it in the beginning, but I think it’ll be cool. And hey, holidays are always good, right?

A few things that I wanted to say, but I decided to go with a more “serious” post.

Since it’s Hari Raya, I’ve been visiting relatives with my family. Sometimes, I’m not even really how sure that I’m related to them, but still. They’ve become sort of familiar to me over the years and years of visiting. Most of these relatives are of my grandma’s generation, so they’re all in their 60s and above. And today, it just struck me. The fact that they are that old.

It’s a weird thing to realize, but that’s what happened. It’s funny though, cos I don’t think about it. I don’t think about the fact that my grandma’s growing older: she’s not as strong as she used to be, she can’t do all the stuff she used to, she can barely walk. I know these things, but what it means didn’t sink it.

Tonight, one of the relatives we visited was my grandma’s cousin (I think that’s how we’re related). She’s around my grandma’s age too. Her husband was sick a while ago (we went to visit him in the hospital). And I looked at them and thought, “They’re getting older.” Because I remember them from when I was younger, and they were younger too and healthier and all that.

Another thing that happened tonight is that we heard that my cousin’s grandpa is in ICU and is pretty much on the brink of dying. He’s been sick for a while but somehow things took a turn for the worse.

In the middle of all this, I thought of my grandfather. He died about 12-13 years ago. It was a long time ago, and I’m sad to say that I don’t remember him as often as I should. Tonight, I thought of him and wondered what life would be like if he was still around. I’m pretty lucky though cos I got so many years with him and was close to him because my family lived with my grandparents for a long time. My younger cousins probably don’t remember him much, but I do. I miss him, I wish he was here.

Anyway, the whole point of this: I realized tonight that, like most young people, I don’t think about my mortality. Death does not factor in my conception of the future. It’s a non-issue, because when you’re young, you think death is a long way away. Maybe it is, and maybe it’s not. But for someone who’s 22, I don’t think about death. You think you can conquer the world and you have another 50 years to try. It’s the pride of youth.

You don’t think about being old, about being sick, about all that stuff. I can barely imagine where I’ll be in 10 years, let alone 30-40 years from now. It’s just bizarre to think about that stuff. But it will happen, eventually. And hopefully when I get to that point, I’ll have a crapload of good memories to think back on.

The other thing that crossed my mind is that I hope that I’ll have someone to grow old with. Because when I watched my grandma’s cousin and her husband, I thought, “I want that too.” I want someone who’s known me for decades, who’s been by my side, who’s been a large chunk of the happy memories I hope to have. And I hope he’d still be at my side when we’re old and sick. It’s such an “unromantic” romantic image, but there you have it. Heh. But isn’t that nice: to have somone stick by you through the years, through sickness and health, through everything? I’d be very glad to have that. (That Adam Sandler song from The Wedding Singer is running through my head.)

Okay, this is turning maudlin.

[/serious]

Holidays are sometimes nice, but most of the time, they’re a pain in the motherfuckin’ ass. People just need to take a chill-pill and not stress out so much. I mean, who’s gonna notice whether or not the freakin’ doors have been polished? Who’s gonna notice that you’ve been using the same freakin’ curtains for the past few years? Are you gonna be ostracised and stoned for not having the cleanest house? Geeeeez.

If you didn’t already figure it out, my mom is driving me up the wall. She needs to chill yo. Instead, I get yelled at every 3 hours or so: go clean my room; go wash the windows; go vacuum the carpets. Argh. It makes me wanna hurl the pretty glass thingy on our table at a wall, watch it break into a million pieces, smile, and walk away into my room where I’ll stay until this damned holiday is over. Last year’s lack of celebration, given that I was halfway across the world and pretty much by myself, doesn’t seem that bad now.

Maybe I’ll sing another tune in 5/10 years when I have a home of my own, a family of my own and these kind of things become, God forbid, more important to me. (They do say that you grow into your mother. Oy.) For now, I’m still young enough to not give a damn.

In between all the bouts of furious cleaning, I’ve been trying to put together my Rousseau essay. Trying, being the key word. Argh. I’m pretty much dying here. I kinda have a vague idea of what I wanna say, but trying to string it together is hard. I’m determined to have a large chunk of it done tonight (although my mom is trying to recruit me into baking cookies) ‘cos, in all likelihood, tomorrow and Thursday are gonna be busy. And really, I want this essay out of the way ASAP. 50% of my grade- oh God, I’m getting a headache just worrying about it. I can’t afford to screw this one up!

And somehow in all this madness, I managed to watch 3 movies in the past few days: “Garden State”, “Monster-In-Law” and “Bend It Like Beckham” which was on tv tonight.

“Garden State”- after hearing so much about it I guess I was a little disappointed. I dunno; maybe I need to watch it again to really appreciate it. There were several bits I really liked though (the screaming into the abyss part, which I thought was awesome).

All I have to say about “Monster-In-Law” is: Michael Vartan is pretty. Heh.

“Bend It Like Beckham” was actually a lot of fun. Nothing really new in terms of plot/theme, but still enjoyable. And I thought the dude who played Joe was hot and wondered why he looked familiar. Then, at the credits, I realized he was Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Duh! He really is quite gorgeous. His eyes are like woah, and I love his accent. Mmmm, accents.

(And another bit of trivia I realized (thanks to IMDB)- the lead actress in the movie is also in ER… and her character has a thing going on with Shane West’s character! Lucky lucky.)

Argh. I need to stop procrastinating. :(

My brother just strolled in. At midnight. And what did he get? Nope, nothing. No yelling, no screaming. He was out all last night too and didn’t even get a slap on the wrist. When I was his age, I got called if I wasn’t home by like 11-ish and I got reamed out for coming home late. Hell, even now, if I’m not home by midnight, my mom calls my cell. Like WTF? I’m 5 freakin’ years older but he gets all the slack. And then he has the audacity to claim that I’m the favourite. What-fuckin-ever.

Okay, so now I got myself all riled up. Blaaaaaaah. I should channel all this energy into my essay instead.

To those celebrating: Selamat Hari Raya! :) Have a good one and don’t let your family drive you bonkers. Hehe.