and i u n f o l d

I wanted to blog yesterday but my ‘puter ate up my post. So I’m saving that for another day.

Today, all I want to ask is: think of the people you call your friends. You may know some longer than others, have fun times with all of them, share some or all of our secrets with a select few. You may have a lot, or you may only have a few. Whatever it is, ask yourself: who will be there for you in the good times AND the bad? Because those? They’re the ones who really count. And if you have even one, consider yourself lucky.

And then ask yourself, would you be there for them?

ARE YOU GONNA BE THERE
(BY ‘NSYNC)

On Monday, I officially signed away the next 2 years of my life. A tiny sliver of hesitation… but me, once I make a decision, I like to stick with it. Especially if it’s a big one. If you commit to something, you damn well should commit fully. So, yes, I’m making an effort to be positive about this whole thing. :P

Tuesday was my last day at the temp job. Thank goodness; I had reached saturation point. I am, however, looking forward to spending that money I earned. LOL. New clothes, here I come! (Alas, that’ll be 2 weeks from now when I get that paycheck.)

There was a short briefing today and I finally saw/met the other people who’ll be my classmates/colleagues. They seem like nice people, so that’s a great relief. There are 20 of us in total and interestingly there was no one else from the group that I interviewed with. Mmmm. I was a bit surprised but I think they might’ve tried the hard-sell too much and turned off the interviewers. I dunno… you really never know with interviews. I don’t know what I did right either. Haha.

We got briefed on some admin matters and got our school schedule for the 3 months. Sigh, I can’t escape early mornings. Classes (3-hour sessions) every day; I start at 9am and end at 4.30pm most times. It’s not that bad really. I’m just not fond of early mornings. Classes start on Monday. I hope they won’t be too boring, haha. But even if they are, I have to know this stuff ‘cos it’ll all be part of the knowledge needed for the job! Heh. I’m determined to be damn good at this job. Ahahahah. Might as well, right? ;)

We also got our photo taken for the staff pass… and mine didn’t turn out too good but I was too lazy to get the guy to take another one. Hahah. Oh well.

I went for a casting after that, in the Bishan area. On the bus ride, I spotted my ad. Hahahaha. Made me do a double take. Maaaan, I need to take a pic of it! So now, it’s been spotted in Bugis, Somerset, Marine Parade (Jen called me, “Liza, is that you in the ad?” Heheheheh.) and Bishan. Wonder if it’s anywhere in the Westside?

Y’know, now that my life is going somewhere, I’ve gone in planning mode. Making lists, figuring out how to get to where I want to be, sorting out what my finances are gonna be like, things like that. I love this stuff. I love having a plan, however nebulous it might be. Haha, bloody typical Virgo.

In Hani’s words: Aku suka dia la. Dammit.

My TbB (”my”, ahaha, yeah-freakin’-right) had a little performance thingy sometime last week and I just saw the videos.

Guh. Guhhhh. GUHHHHH. *flails*

I just have so much love for M.YBG, cos in my delusional mind it’s about me. No, really: a) the girl apparently has style like the girl from Honey… now, who cut her hair just like J.Alba’s hair in the movie? And who has gotten comments that she kinda looks like Ms. Alba? *cough*; b) the girl can dance *cough*; c) the girl “turns down all the guys that come around”. Who’s a picky bitch who doesn’t give most guys a chance? *cough cough*; d) And who needs “a brother who can really put it down” (aka TbB)? Ahahahahahaha. Okay, I am crazy, I know. Insane. Delusional. Totally perasan. Heh. (And I so need need to buy that song online, damnit! I need to have it on JD!pod.)

That Malay song of his? Loooooove. Makes me all melty inside. It’s a really pretty song. Sadly enough, I’ve learnt to tolerate his 1st single despite the overload of cheese and bad music video.

And frak, he’s hottttt. I still don’t know why in hell I find him so attractive, but there it is. Sighhhhh. So adorable when he smiles. I’m convinced that he owns like 100 hoodies, which is not a problem with me ‘cos boys + hoodies = HOT. And I seriously love his voice.
I’ve embraced my shame.

So, yes, aku suka dia la.

DAMNIT. DAMNIT ALL TO HELL.

And, yes, I am buying his album. I hope it’s good.

I MUST MEET HIM. I MUST MEET HIM. WHY CAN’T I MEET HIM? WHY WHY WHY?!?! DAMN YOU FATE.

(It’s late, I’m tired. Yes, those are my excuses for this erm, interesting post. Ahahahaha. I need sleep.)

Let’s start with the big news: I got a job offer… and I decided to take it.

The interview was on Thursday. There was little briefing about the company and the job and then it was like, if you’re interested you can stay for the interview. I was kinda leaning on the fence but I thought, WTH I have nothing to lose. So I stayed for the group interview. We only got asked 3 questions, the last one (If you could be a car, which one would you be?) was the most interesting one.

They must’ve bought my BS, cos I got a call the next day with the offer. I had to give an answer by the end of the day, so I went into panic mode. I called my mom to talk it over; she encouraged me to take it and also said that it was ultimately my decision. So, in between work, my brain was furiously making a pros and cons list.

The job is as a management trainee with NTUC.In.come. There’s a 3-month specialist diploma course, after which we’ll be rotated at various departments to learn and experience the different facets of the company. There’s a 2-year contract (inclusive of the course) and I was offered the highest salary in the range, so it’s not like waaaay below my expectations. Haha. Plus, the job hours mean I can try and have a (social) life (and take dance classes!), the office is central and the benefits are pretty good.

So yeah, I took the offer. I don’t think I have anything to lose and I know that I have to start somewhere. I need the job experience and hopefully in the next 2 years, regardless of whether I stay with the company, I’ll have a better idea of what I really want to do. MY only major concern was the contract but my mom reassured me that in the event that I really find the job unsuitable or another better opportunity comes my way, there’s always the option of breaking the bond. But, y’know the idea of breaking it just doesn’t sit well with me. *shrug* Besides, 2 years will fly by. Hopefully. Heh.

I was out yesterday with Hani. Went shopping and I bought shoes. Haha, I am such a shoe-whore. I couldn’t help looking at all the pretty heels, even though I knew I had to get a pair of comfy flats. All the more reason my future boyfriend needs to be taller with me. Ahahahaha. Weirdly enough, I’m kinda looking forward to office-wear. Y’know I’m gonna bastardise it and make it look trendy somehow. LOL.

Anyway, we ended up watching Step Up. I’ve already raved about it so I’m just gonna say that it was nice to see it on the big screen. And that the final dance is still so awesome and that I have so much love for it. And that it still does make me want a dancer!boyfriend. So no, that’s not what I’m gonna talk that again. We had a late dinner before the 1.35am movie and that, in hindsight, was the funniest conversation. It was one big ol’ Mary Sue. Ahahahahaha. Let’s just say that we talked about what our weddings would be like. Ahahahahaha. *zips lips*

I have such a backlog of tv episodes to watch! My computer crashed last weekend so I re-downloaded a bunch of eps. So now I have 2 weeks’ worth of episodes from like 5 shows sitting on my computer. Aaaaah. Need to watch them.

I spent all day today reading. I feel like such a sloth! I love it. Ahahaha. And man oh man, nothing makes me happier than having the library double our loan limit until the end of January. More booksssssss! :)

The result of that photoshoot I did a couple of weeks ago has been unleashed to the world. Thanks to some eagle-eyed friends who noticed and mentioned it to me; I didn’t even know they were out! Haaaa. I didn’t expect the ad to be that big. Oyyyyy. It’s been spotted in the town area. I myself just saw one today. LOL. I was amused. It’s kinda cool… yet kinda odd at the same time. I’m gonna bring a cam one of these days and take photos of me and the ad. Ahahahahah. Hey, who knows if something like this will happen again? Gotta save it for posterity! (And damnit, I hope I get paid sooner rather than later. It’s funny that the ad comes out before any of us get paid. Booooo.)

Work has been same ol’ same ol’. I’m on a new project now, which is a bit of a pain in the behind ‘cos the target is hard to reach. Baaaaah. To make things worse, our team leader is on leave all of this week so we’re pretty much on our own. And she asked me to do some of the daily admin stuff on her behalf. That’ll probably equal me staying in at least an extra 15 minutes every day… maybe more if things are screwed up. Niceeeeee.

It’s only Monday. SIGH.

I went to watch the N.RA dance production on Friday. While it dragged on waaaaaay too long, I did love some of the choreography. I love the R&B/milking/more East Coast style of hip-hop that was featured in a couple of items. One that comes to mind was the bit set to “We Belong Together”; that was lovely. I also have much love for them N.RA boys- they worked it out! I thought the boys were really good. It was hard to really notice the girls ‘cos there were just so many of them but, as usual, two stood out. Those two are really strong dancers; I love their energy and their style.

And there was Yaya! It was great to finally get to see her dance after all the times she came to watch me dance. Girl, despite you saying you made boo boos, you did a good job! I’m sure the whole experience was a lot of fun. Keep dancing yo; don’t give up on it. :) *hugs*

I bought new shoes! Happy happy. Hehe. I still wanna buy some comfy ballet flats too. And a thick belt. And earrings. Hahaha. Bloody shopaholic.

Ooh ooh. On the way to the show on Saturday, I saw a really cute guy on the train. He was like Spanish or South American or something like that. Kinda reminded me a little of James Lafferty (aka Nathan on OTH). I was sitting and he came and stood right in front of me. I was so trying not to check him out, but obviously I couldn’t help it. Ahahaha. I felt SO conspicious; felt like everyone knew I was checking him out. A couple of times, he caught me looking at me or I caught him looking at me… and OMG! Awkward! Ahahahahah. It was kinda amusing, I guess. Perasan me thought he might’ve been checkin’ me out. LOL! Anyway, after an excruciating 15 minutes when I get so self-conscious, he got off at City Hall. And I was headed to the West. Bye bye eye candy. But yes, I thought he was hot yo.

What else what else? OH. The tests for MIN.DEF went well, I thought. It took only about 2 hours-ish. Report-writing and a fun exercise mapping out networks and cells of an organization according to the story and relationship guide given to us. Basically it was a test to see if you can analyse and figure out terrorist-related networking stuff. Interesting. I didn’t have much trouble, so hopefully it did go well. I’ll only hear from them in 2-3 weeks, so we’ll see.

I miss dance.

dancer!Ivan and his dancer!girlfriend are pretty much the cutest couple ever. It’s quite sickening; I’d hate them if I didn’t envy them so much. Heh. I know no relationship is perfect (imperfection is what makes things interesting, really) but from what I’ve see/read about those two on her blog, they seem to have a really good thing going on. It’s heartening to know that love can and does work out well for some people but, at the same time, it’s like when the frak is my turn?!!? LOL.

It’s funny how easy it seems to be for other people. They see someone they think is attractive, they get introduced or someone makes a move or something like that… and next thing you know, they’re together and next thing after that, they’ve been together for like years. Now, I know that relationships are never easy and that it takes work, committment and a ton of other things to keep a relationship going. What seems easy to me is how some people get into relationships in the first place. I don’t know if that’s a personality or preference kinda thing, that some people fall into relationships more easily than others. Or is it simply a matter of luck and/or being in the right place at the right time or having the cosmos align especially for those two people or whatever crap? Or is it a bit of both?

If it’s both, then it seems like I’m basically screwed. I’m not the type to throw myself into a relationship easily and the cosmos have not deigned to align themselves in my favour in eons. Add to that the fact that I hardly ever meet new people (by “people”, I specifically mean “boys”), and even then there are few who make me a second look and really pique my interest. Plus, there’s my penchant for liking boys I can’t have. Ta-da, singledom ensues!

I’ve never gotten into any melodramatic deep depression due to having no boyfriend. Hahah. Please. I’m Ms. Independent like that. :P But sometimes, when I come across adorable and genuinely-in-love couples like dancer!Ivan and his girlfriend, I get taken over by the green-eyed monster. Perfectly normal, right? Right.

Clearly, I need to move to Cali where all the dancer!boys are at. It’ll be dancer!boy heaven for me yo. Hehehe. You know that if/when I decide to continue studying, the UCs will be at the top of my lists of desired schools. LOL.

Anyway, in all seriousness, it’s a good thing for me that most of my girl friends are single too. We can all be happily single and fabulous together. Heh. :D

I’ve been listening to “My Boo” on repeat. Heheheheh.

The quandary that has become my life continues. In case you were wondering, no, I still don’t have a concrete idea of what I want to do. Will I ever?! Haaaaa. I need a trail of bread crumbs to lead me from my lost place right now to the vicinity of wherever the heck I’m actually supposed to be. In the meanwhile, I suppose I better enjoy the scenery.

I had a day off today. It was a little strange to be able to wake up late. Then, strangely enough, I didn’t know what to do with myself. After a couple mindless tv shows, I read some, fell alseep, then watched some more tv. Geeeez. It’s back to work tomorrow and, yayness, I get my paycheck! Woot woot. Money to buy shoes! Ahahahahahaha. Anyway, I got the day off cos the project I was on ended on Friday. Tomorrow, I’m getting on a new one. Hopefully, it won’t be sucky.

I got a call from MIN.DEF asking me to come down on Wednesday for a batch of tests. I applied for the position of research associate like 2 weeks ago? So I didn’t expect the call. But yes, I’ll be dragging my ass waaaay over to the Westside for that. Joy. I suppose I should start giving a damn about what happens in this country nowadays so that I don’t sound like a total fool if I eventually get called for an interview. Damn current affairs questions.

I miss dance. A lot. But given the uncertainty of my current lifestyle, I can’t foresee myself shelling out moolah for dance classes until next year. Waaaaaaaaaah. Sadness. In lieu of that, I should go clubbing. Soon.

Finally did something to my hair. Nope, nothing drastic. Just got a trim and got my roots touched up. But I love it. No more fugly black roots! No more split ends! I love that my hair is still curly-ish, 5 months after the perm. Haaa, that rocks.