and i u n f o l d

I am seriously irritated with my hair. IRRITATED. I need to cut it and do something to it because it’s neither here nor there. Every day is a not-good hair day. BLAAAAH. I dunno if I can last til the end of March which was originally my timeframe for a haircut. I really might spend most of March on a terribly meagre, miniscule budget just to get something done to my hair LIKE NOW. I’m definitely leaning towards going back to straight hair. I’ve ha this curly/wavy hair for about 8 months now and it’s time to switch back, just for a change. Straight hair is more versatile anyway, and I can still curl it when I want to. Hmmm.

It’s mid-week, and of course that warrants a YAY! Work has been pretty all right; it’s either we have a crapload of new information to digest or we don’t really have anything to do. But it’s okay, I guess. I’m feeling a little more comfortable with the idea of what we’re gonna be doing, so that’s good. Learning about the different products is actually interesting to me (I’m a geek and crazy like that, heh). The team that I’ve been assigned to is full of permanent staff and most of them are of the makcik variety (i.e.: aunties); they’ve been really nice and friendly so I don’t mind at all. Heh.

My clothes problem isn’t really as dire as I made it out to be. LOL. Much much room for improvement, of course, but I can manage til my next paycheck. I’ve been scavenging my mom’s and my closet for possible outfits. So I’ll get by. Besides, I haven’t seen anyone hot in the workplace that I’d wanna impress with my awesomeness. Ahahahahah.

I spent my Saturday night watching a freakin’ M.alay awards show. No prizes for guessing why. I sat thru the whole damn thing… when I should’ve just watched the last half hour. TbB performed, presented and then won an award, all in the space of that last half hour. The performance was the only entertaining thing to me, he looked freakin’ hottt and was working the suit he wore, and I squealed when he won ‘cos I wasn’t sure if he actually would, despite the zealousness of his fanbase. But he did so that Sur.ia actor who talked smack about him can just SUCK IT UP and shut the hell up. Trash-talking him did you no favors, dude, and it galvanized his fans to vote even more for him, so HAHA to you. :P

I also saw the pics and vids from the Ri.a high-tea event he did with Ha.dy. God, he’s so cute. And he was like down on one knee, singing that sad M.alay song to some lucky girl while holding her freakin’ hand. *(*%$&)(* Color me enviousssss.

I’m suffering from withdrawal here.

Okay, I’ll shut up now. Heh.

:D

My first official day at work.

……..

‘Cept that it was still yet more training. Yet more information to digest. Yet more things to know, and know well as quickly as possible.

I’ll be working at Tam.pines for at least the next 6 months. Pros: nearby, save on transport, no need to deal with rush-hour crowds. Cons: I will get so bloody sick of that place, not many good and cheap places to eat.  More good than bad, really. I’m keeping a positive mind about my job scope for this period, ‘cos that will help me get through it before I’ll hopefully have a chance to move to another department and position of my choosing. It’s self-defeating for me to be down about it before we even actually start, so none of that shit, thankyou.

I am facing a crisis though… BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. My collection of smart casual attire for work is sorely sorely lacking and it’s not fun. I need more of everything: tops, pants, skirts, shoes, jackets. I guess it’s a lucky thing I’m not posted in town yet so that I get the time to build up my trendy fashionista office look (Seriously, when I watched Ug.ly Bett.y, I was swooning over all the clothes they wore! My God, the people at Mod.e are SO stylishly awesome! I want to go to work dressed like that. I waaaaaant a wardrobe like that, damnit!).  Heh. Or at least not have to repeat outfits so constantly. *shudder* I’m gonna need to get creative what with I have ‘cos I can’t afford to buy a crapload of clothes till I get my March paycheck (which is a looong looong 4 weeks from now).

It’s that time of month again and I find myself with a low tolerance for stupid and/or irritating people. And stupid and/or irritating questions.

Oh, I’ve realized that my spiral into suddenly speaking more M.alay has something to do with my colleagues. Not that they’re very Ma.lay-speaking, but they do speak more than I usually do when I’m with friends. So, it makes me slip more easily into Ma.lay when I’m around them cos y’know sometimes you try to fit into the environment. I had a hilarious moment on the phone with Hani yesterday when she asked me what’s up, and I said, “Ta.k de. Kat rum.ah” (Nothing, just at home) and shocked her into silence before we started laughing. SO NOT ME. Hahahahha. *facepalm* But I guess it’s good to be versatile? Plus, I did do freakishly well in Ma.lay and Higher M.alay so it’s not like I’m totally unversed in the language. Heh. It’s still funny though. :P

I met my mom and her friend in town after work today, which was a total and utter mistake. It slipped my mind that it was Ch.ing-fuckin’-ay. )(%#$%^*_( Fuck, I hate crowds that big. And the roads were fuckin’ closed and there was no way for me to get across to Cen.trepoint. Pissed me off and made my day rotten. We did, however, have a kickass dinner at Mer.idien so that kinda made up for it.

I still adore adore adore TbB more than I should. Sigh. Hopeless. There’s an event coming up at a CC where he’ll talk about his experience as a ’star’ and the importance of image and styling (I kid you not, that is the topic) and I’m mighty mighty tempted to go. Only open to 100 people yo. $10 to go and $5, if you have a Pass.ioncard. Yes? No? Maybe? Anyone? Me, crazy? Heh.

I will be squeeing about Ug.ly Bett.y soon! (DANIEEEEEL!)

I’m currently obsessed with Come To Me by D.iddy feat. Nicole. Love the beat. Love Nicole’s verse and the chorus. And I have a not-so-sekrit desire to be Nicole in my next life. Heh. Sure, her voice is only so-so live… but who cares when you look like that?!?! :P

I safely spent VD.ay at home. Curled up in bed with my romance novel and stuffing my face with cookies (thanks to Betty.Crocker!). Good times. Heh.

Presentation on Friday was okay. Wasn’t fabulous but we didn’t get slammed to death either, so that’s good enough for me. I managed to answer the question that was thrown at me, so at least I didn’t screw it up. Haha. What’s left is an exam on Thursday, of which I’m only half-prepared for. So the next two days should be fun. (Notttttt.)

Spent Friday evening hanging with Cal and Hani. Our attempt to cook dinner was decent, heh. Watched T.ake That’s recent tour and had waaaay too much fun. I’m such a T.ake That fan; I’m unapologetic about it! ‘Cos they’re damn damn good pop music. The concert was such a past from a blast and it’s sad/cool that we still kinda remember the routines! LOL. Despite being without Rob, the concert was still pretty damn awesome. And I think it’s cool that after all these years, their fans are still behind them.

We also watched John. Tucker M.ust Die which was fairly entertaining. Hani must be the only person on Earth who does not find Jess.e Met.calfe hot. For the record, Jo.hn Tucker would’ve charmed me… but then, I’m easy like that. Heh. The date on the yacht? Wowwwww. Someone needs to sweep me off my feet like that.

We had a bagful of fortune cookies in the house so everyone cracked open one. Mine, interestingly enough, said “You’ll soon meet your dream lover. Grasp the opportunity.” Let’s hope it refers to what I want it to refer to. ;)

Oh, of course, I didn’t miss TbB’s perf on Thursday. He looked hot, I thought. The dancing was pretty good too; much better than the Countdown show. So, there I was, happily watching and getting my inner-squee on… and then my attention, for some reason, shifted to his back-up dancers. One of the guys looked familiar, and then it hit me that it was one of my dance friends! I called Val and was like, OMG! Is that J.iexiao dancing for TbB?!?!”, basically freaking out and missing the last third of the perf. AHAHAHAHAHA.

It was him, and I sms-ed him and was all like, OMG YOU DANCED FOR TBB!!!! I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM!!! (Okay, I didn’t say ‘in love”, just “huge crush”, heh.) , much to his amusement. He then offered to get me TbB’s autograph if he dances for TbB again, much to my amusement. So I said, thanks but I already have it… unless you can get him to write a special message to me. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. And my nice friend said he’d try and that it should be okay since he’s very friendly. LOL!

So, it seems like our paths may be slowly colliding somehow. Near, yet stll so far. He’s like at the periphery of my world, right now… so maybe his life will orbit into mine soon enough. (Like the fortune cookie said? Heh.) Conversely, Fate might just be taunting me. Haaaaa. Fate, thou art a fickle mistress. Mess with my head, why don’t cha.

Today was another good day. Chilled out with Nance (who’s here on holiday from Aust), Dale and Cal… and we talked fandom all evening. Heh. Nance also gave me the first 12 eps of U.gly Betty! So, I’m gonna devour them. Dale and Nance were trying (successfully) to keep me unspoiled while raving over how awesome the show is. I’m exciteeeeed.

:)

Yay for long public holidays!

The girl who won the My Gram.my moment? Lucky lucky luuuuucky. She got to perform with Jup and T.I. DAAAAMN. And she managed to hold it together despite having like 0.3seconds to compose herself after finding out she won. Props yo. Although her attempt to do the step-step-slide dance move SO did not work.

WGA was pretty nice, but I’m biased cos I love that song. And he did the last bit of the song, which is my fave part. But the videocam thing didn’t work. Apparently it’s something he does in his concerts and it’s cool there but the coolness didn’t translate. Also, I MISS THE DANCING! Damnit. Stop trying to be all ’serious musician’, Jup, and show me ‘em dance moves!

Who did he bribe to get two performances in one night? Haha. “Ain’t No Sunshine”, weirdly enough, reminds me of TbB so it was amusing to see Jup sing it. (I love TbB’s version actually.) It was a little strange for the girl to sing ML with him but it worked itself out. Again I say, lucky luuuuucky.

Also, Justin? Please wear something other than the suits. I mean, they’re nice and all… but I’m bored of them. I like you in casual clothes yo. I really liked you in the hoodie-blazer combo you sported during them Justified days. Sniff, I miss that era. Oh, and any chance that you’ll grow your hair out? I miss the curlssssss. And DANCE, DAMNIT!

I’d also like to officially say that I would soooo do T.I.. HOT DAMN! I always thought he was kinda cute, but I thought he was smokin’ hot during ML. Yummy, baby. YUMMY.

The Ray/Legend/Mayer collaboration was nice… but kinda boring. Mayer needs a haircut (and better taste in women). I thought it was strange that Mayer won for Best.Pop.Album. WTF?

I covet Christina’s white suit. Preeetty. She sounded good, as usual, but sometimes I wish she wouldn’t push it so hard. I mean, everyone knows she has an amazing voice so she doesn’t need to remind us alllll the time. Sometimes, some restraint can go a long way. Still, she rocked it.

Beyonce was BLAH. Like someone (J.Hud? Ahahahah.) sucked the mojo out of her. Plus, that song bores me. I’d take “Irreplaceable” any day. (That song is so my jam.)

Even though I already knew he didn’t win, I kept wishing Prince won something for 3121.

MARY J! I was psyched that she won and I really liked her performance. Her intensity always gives me goose-bumps. Plus, I have unholy love for that song. She looked really good during her perf with Luda too.

Maybe if I listened to the Di.xie.Chicks, I might understand what the big deal about their music is.

I covet Carrie Under.wood’s hair. She still bores me.

Luda snarking on Oprah and O’Reilly cracked me up.

Chris Brown. Dancing? Awesome! The little kids were so cute. OMG! I want my little kiddies to dance like that. Singing? What singing? Pity, since I think it would’ve been a much better performance overall if he cared as much about singing as he did about the gimmicks. The trampoline thingy was cool though. Heh.

James Blunt was… MEH. The one time he really impressed me was when he sang on Oprah. His rendition of “Goodbye My Lover” slayed me. (God, that song is depressing.) But tonight, he was just okay. Gotta say that that song acoustic live is much more bearable than the album version.

It was a pretty entertaining show, overall. I enjoyed most of the performances, so it wasn’t a total waste of time. Heh.

I have a freakin’ headache. I’ve been stuck in school, in front of this blasted computer since like 10am. That’s almost 6 hours of staring a MS Word and trying to make this essay sound coherent. I want to kill myself.

Okay so, it’s like common knowledge that I’m an English Nazi. And I’m very anal about essays. I like to write them a certain way; I like them to make sense; and I like them to be good. Group essays are a special kind of hell for me. I avoid them like the plague if I can; alas in this case, avoidance is not an option.

So I’m the self-appointed editor (and have been since last term). I don’t mind doing it really, because I would break out in a rash if I didn’t have some kind of control over how the essay ultimately turns out. (Haha! Pathetic but true.) The thing is, I find myself rewriting a big chunk of it. Maybe half? Due to chunky language, incoherent rambling sentences, bad grammar and sentence structure and lack of making-a-point. It makes my head hurt sometimes to try and figuer out what needs to be said and how to rephrase it to make it sound better without totally changing the meaning of the original writing. And then, there’s the job of tying everything toegther so that all the points sound coherent, so that our argument is sound, so that everything links and makes sense as a whole. So that the essay makes the point that it’s supposed to make.

Hence, my headache.

(And the essay is still not finished. Hurrah. /sarcasm)

GAH. *headdesk*

Also, I just realized that the presentation is on Friday… so technically I’ll still be miserable on Thursday. At least TbB will be there to make my day. Hurhurrrr. Thank God for the little things that make me happy. :)

I can’t wait to watch the Grammys repeat tonight. Juuuuustin! How I adore thee. Plus, Mary J.; so much love for “Be Without You”. And Christina!

Save me, please.

Logan ‘puter is fucked up. I don’t know what’s wrong, but my dad rebooted him last week (I don’t even know why, but even once in a while, he’ll go on a rampage and reboot) and since then, he hasn’t been the same. I’m having problems with both IE and Net.scape and my torrents take a million years to finish. I dunno. He might have to be rebooted again. Sigh.

This weekend was nicely filled with nothingness. I can’t remember the last time I had the entire weekend to myself. I’m either out gallivanting, or have something on, or whatever. This weekend, I just laid about and read a lot. Heh. Good times, good times. I also managed to squeeze in some episode watching so YAY!

I was just reading the past few entries and I realized that there was no mention of TbB. Breakthrough! LOL. And no, I didn’t go to his thingy last Saturday. And yes, of course, he just had to sing MY.BG and there was a little “dance competition” thingy (the video clip amused the crap out of me!). Of course. And thanks to Val, now I can never watch him dance without giggling. Hehehehe.

My 3-month stint at N.YP is pretty much over. I’ve got a project presentation and an exam before I get thrown into the real world. I’m a little worried about the project since it’s 100% of the grade and frankly, I’m freaked out that we haven’t done enough. It all looks like big ol’ bunch of BS to me. Plus, I know that putting together the different parts of the essay will be hell and guess who’ll be doing it? Aaaaah. *headdesk* The exam, at least, I have some control over; as in, I know I have to study if I wanna do well enough. So that, I can do. Heh.

So this next week is gonna be not-so-much fun. Even though I’m technically on study break, I’ll have to go to school to work on the project essay and presentation. Submission is Wednesday, presentation Thursday. Sighhhhh. MODotY is smack in the middle of the week, and if I have anything to say about it, I’ll be far faaaaar away from town and any such places where the overwhelming waft of Love In The Air will choke me to death. HAAAAAAA.

On the upside, Thursday will mark the end of my misery and the Fates have rewarded me with a TbB performance on The.Da.nce.Floor. Heh heh. I will sit on my couch, eyes glued to the tv and hold back my giggles when he dances. Heee! (TbB, I snark because I love. Really. Hehe.)

I am such a bitch, sometimes. SUCH A BITCH.

(Sigh.)

I was reading Firah’s blog and she had written something about that Most Overrated Day of the Year. And since I pretty much have something to say about it each time it rolls around, why would this year be any different? Haha.

So, obviously, my feelings about that day are quite evident: OVERRATED. Maybe I’m a cynic, maybe I’m just bitter cos I never have actually had a Valentine. Or… maybe I’m right. Ahahahaha. (Maybe it’s all 3?)

Like Firah, I’m more about the little details. Not that I’d turn down and scoff at a Big Grand Gesture. But y’know, it’s the little things that will get to me. Remembering what I said in passing. Surprising me with a gift for no reason whatsoever, ‘cept that you saw it and it reminded you of me. Flowers when I don’t expect it. An SMS just to say hi and that you’re thinking of me. Anytime, anyday… those things would mean more to me than a big ol’ fancy dinner with a hundred other couples on MODotY.

I don’t need a $200 bouquet of champagne-coloured roses. You can pop up at my doorstep with a pint of B&J ice-cream and my favourite movie and it’ll mean the same thing to me. In fact, it’ll mean more if you got my favourite flavor and let me Notebook you and you don’t even crack a sarcastic comment when I sob like a baby at the end. Heck, we could do that on MODotY and I’d consider that a damn good night. :)

I just don’t buy into the commercialized crap. I don’t. And I pity the poor sots whose girlfriends expect to romanced to death on that one particular day. What’s the point of having an attentive, romantic boyfriend for the one day of the year if he rests on his laurels the rest of the time? I’d rather be romanced when I least expect it.

And romance really is the little things. At least to me. It can be the way he holds you on the train so that you don’t lose your balance. Or when he teases you for being anal and having to plan everything. Or that look in his eyes and that smile when he tells you that you look nice today. Or how he’ll buy you ice-cream when he knows you want some. It doesn’t matter if he forgets MODotY or does nothing ‘special’ for you on that day if he makes every moment you spend together special in some way.

Oh God, now I sound like the romantic sap I am.

But honestly, that day doesn’t mean anything to me and I doubt it will even when I get a boyfriend. I’d actually prefer he not do anything on that day, just ‘cos. Don’t feed the commercialism yo.

What does irritate me are those girls who walk around on that day with entire rose gardens in their arms (or a huge-ass teddy bear, or a big fluffy stuffed heart or… insert meaningless but cute gift of choice here), looking all smug and with that look-how-much-my-boyfriend-loves-me aura wafting around them. Girl, having a $150 bouquet does not make you better than me. It just means you ripped a hole in your boy’s pocket just so you can show the world how in love you are. 

 That said, I am looking forward to February 14th….. cos I get paid! Hehehehe. :P

Wooo! Meds!

I’m feeling much much better. Being sick is no picnic; esp if you have to wait almost 2 hours for 5 minutes with the doctor who prods you a little bit, scribbles your prescription and you shell out $24. Plus, having to take 4 different types of meds? NOT FUN. I’m not a big fan of pill-swallowing and the freakin’ antibiotic is the size of my pinky nail. I just about wanted to die. But cough syrup, mmm-hmmm. Heh.

Today’s class was postponed to tomorrow morning so I got in an extra day of rest; my MC covers today too but since it would’ve been presentation, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it. So, yet another day hibernating at home… and trying to write my bit of a group essay. Sigh. My brain is not feeling up to forming academic sentences.

This also means no dance for me today. Boooooo.

I’m sick. *insert pathetic face*

I felt it coming about mid-week and I think my lack of sleep (and irregular eating habits) was a major major factor. I spent Thursday and Friday in school, freezing my ass of in the classroom and the lab, even though I doubt it was really any colder than usual. I would come home, wrap myself in my comforter (like a spring roll, haha) and hibernate. Still, I didn’t do anything about it.

Until yesterday when I got a fever. Aaaah. I felt so miserable and did more of that lying in bed like a beached whale thingy. Popped some Panadol, slept a lot and felt a little better towards the end of the night. The respite didn’t last and got a little worse; fever and flu. BOOOOOO. Freakin’ phlegm, DAMN YOU. More Panadol before I tried to sleep.

Woke up this morning feeling like crap. Didn’t wanna move at all. Forced some food down my throat (seriously, I hate the loss of appetite that comes with being sick) and then downed more Panadol. Used up half a box of tissue. The misery has abated somewhat. And it better go away soon cos I have plans to hang out with the posse this evening.

WAAAAAAAAAH.

Why couldn’t I fall sick on a weekday so that I’d have reason to go to the doctor, get an MC and not go to school?!?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that Hani called me at like 2am last night, telling me that TbB was at the McD at West Coast. A hilarious conversation ensued, which I can barely remember since I was high on medication.  Yet the phrase muka macam kena langgar lingers in my mind. AHAHAHAHAHA.

For someone who had about 3 hours of sleep, a full day of activity and only came home at midnight, it’s crazy that I’m not already passed out in bed. Esp. since I do have an early class tomorrow.

I ended up going to bed at about 4+ in the am last night, cos I got hooked on watching that oldskool romance movie “The Cutting Edge”. That’s like one of the classic love-hate/snarky relationships and once I started watching, I couldn’t stop even though I’ve seen the movie a couple of times before.

Then I had a long day at school even though the afternoon class was cancelled and postponed to Friday morning (GRRRR!). But I stayed back to work on the projects, which turned out to be a good decision since I’m clearly the most unproductive person ever when I’m at home. Haha. Then I had some modelling thingy and I met up with Hani and Nazlin after that. Bought some makeup at E.spirit and was mighty mighty tempted to buy a super cute black hoodie. Man, I have no will power against hoodies; it’s an obsession. Somehow, I held out… though I’m kinda regretting it now. I know one can never have too many hoodies… but do I need yet another one? Haha. After that, we had a late dinner and talked crap. Hilarious as shit conversations. Geeeez.

Interesting thing that happened today: I’ve seen a guy who was my classmate back in primary school around in school a few times. I remembered him and wasn’t sure if he remembered me, so I didn’t really say hi or anything. So this morning during our break, I popped into the canteen to get a sandwich to tide me through the lesson and saw him sitting at one of the tables with his friend. Again with the whole uncertainty thing so I didn’t do anything. But after I got my sandwich and was walking out, he called out my name.

So, of course, I turned and smiled and waved hi and walked over to him. We had a short conversation, sorta like hey what’s up remember me what’re you up to kinda thing. And I think he’s hot. I mean, I always did think he was kinda cute, but yeah. He is la. He’s tall and has a fit physique and a nice smile and pretty eyes. And points to him for not slipping into Malay during our conversation. AHAHAHHAA. Good God, what’s wrong with me? It was weird enough when I found TbB hot and started to get into him and now I find yet another Malay boy hot? Geeeeez. *headdesk* (HELP ME. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A DESPERATE PLEA FOR HELP.)

Anyway, I popped back into class and had to share that info with some of my friends, and they were like, did you get his number? AHAHAHAHAH. I have to mention that out of us five girls in my project group, one is married and the other three are attached. I’m the only one who’s free as a bird so there was one time when we were just talking and they jokingly said that our next project was to get me hooked up. And I was like, EEEEK! Hahahaha. Freakin’ funny. Naturally, my TbB-love is sekrit so I wasn’t all like, “I want TbB!” to them. LOL! Ssshhhhhhh.
I need to sleep. My bed is calling out to me. Mmmmm.