and i u n f o l d

Previous post is the long sordid story of last weekend’s shenanigans. Password is the same one I’ve used before; if you want it, or have forgotten it, you can ask me.

So I guess the new year has started off with a “bang”? Haha. Or notttt. Still, January is almost over. I’ve got a bunch of things to look forward to (coincidentally all in March): In.cubus, M5, trip to BKK with the mom. Long C.NY weekend next week, which will be a much-needed break. No plans as yet; I think the posse might be cooking up something. Else I’m perfectly fine with the idea of bumming at home with my romance novels. At least I can be reassured of a happy, sappy ending with them. I love happy endings.

I didn’t officially make new year’s resolutions but one month in and I’m rethinking that. I’m gonna pen them down very soon just so I have a concrete idea of what I’d like to do this year. Mainly an extension of last year’s resolutions; I fulfilled most of them and now it’s for me to go deeper into it and look for other areas of improvement in my life. I feel like I really need to get my act together. I mean, I am quite together as of now… but there’s always room for growth. And I feel like I want and need to try new things. I’m turning 25 this year, which is a freaky thought to be honest. It’s making me really look at myself and my life and come to terms with what I am, what I’m not and what I’d like to be.

So introspective, I know. I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately. And feeling very solitary, which isn’t always a bad thing. It’s like I’m trying to figure myself out and the answers aren’t forthcoming.

But y’know, things are good. I don’t like being sad or depressed or down, cos it just takes way too much energy and sucks the life out of everything. And I’m not sad or depressed or down, even if I feel introspective a lot these days. I’m here, I’m alive, I have so much to look forward and I just want to enjoy the ride. It’s all good.

So… no regrets. Not about anything.

P/S: Yes I know I have to post my hol pics. I KNOW! I will get to it, I promise. :)

I finally feel like I’ve broken through a plateau. Finally finally finally, I feel like I’m moving forward and it feels real good. REAL GOOD.

Last week was my first dance classes of 2008 and they went quite well. I haven’t danced since the Proj.ect El.ement workshops which means I’ve been bereft of dance for one month! Unthinkable! Sacrilege!

I really did feel a bit rusty… and G.in’s warm-up didn’t help. She changed it up and it was freakin’ torturous. My muscles were all tight and the stretching hurt like a mo’fo. But nice, in a sadistic way. Haha. At least I haven’t lost what little flexibility I gained last year. One month is a long time to go without stretching and dancing.

I loved her choreography for the class! It was to Ch.ris Brow.n’s Wi.th You, which I obsessed over last month so I was like, Eeeee! She did the chorus and it was soooo nice. I was kinda stumbling a bit in the beginning (the afore-mentioned rustiness) but slowly got into the zone. It was really fun and there were a few wtf? moments when she told jokes that made little sense, hahahaha. She’s damn cute la.

By the end of the class, I got most, if not all, of it and just really enjoyed dancing it. I think I missed dance and was just thrilled to be dancing again.

She continued the choreography in today’s class and EEEEEEE! Months after taking her classes, and I still can’t get over her awesomeness. Heh. It just flowed, and it hit at all the right points and it was just GOOD. To my own surprise, I picked up it quite quickly and I had gone through last week’s choreo in my head this whole week so I was like ready for it to be put together.

It was a great class for me. This was the most confident I’ve ever felt in her class; not just in the choreography but with the feel. I dunno if it’s just that my body finally gets it and has grown used to her style or if blood loss does wonders for my dancing (I donated blood today!)… but whatever it is, IT’S A BREAKTHROUGH Y’ALLS! I felt really good when I was dancing. Confident that I would get it, no hesitation, no doubt… the music plays, we hit the starting point and I just dance. I don’t know how to describe but it felt right. It has never felt this right before.

One thing the P.E. workshops gave me a greater appreciation for is just to enjoy dancing. Don’t 100% focus on the moves but to enjoy it, even if you don’t get it perfectly. Feel the music, feel the emotion and dance from somewhere within. I felt that in today’s class. So even if I’m all BLEH about myself once the clip is uploaded, that’s my consolation. Haha.

I skipped out on LHH cos I felt a bit woozy (not supposed to exercise after donating blood, hahaha, rebel that I am). I threw myself on the couch and guzzled down a lot “” of water to rehydrate myself and get my equilibrium back. Chatted a bit with Gi.n and asked her where she got her hair done (cos I’m contemplating extensions when I eventually get tired of short hair) and talked about dance. She too loves Kenny (I mean, who doesn’t?!?!) and Mis.ha and we were just gushing about all the awesome clips on Yout.ube. Heh. I was like telling her to please get Kenny&co to come down here! ;)

I dunno if this breakthrough will last or if this is just a moment in time. But it’s good to know that I can go there, that it’s within me to dance that way. :)

(Srsly, I can’t imagine my life without dance.)

EDIT: Linkie to the choreo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umakbejHJ1s
Haaaaa, this is probably as close as I can get to saying that I’ve danced with Gi.n. AHAHAHHAHAA! I’m like right next to her (I’m in black on your left, in case you couldn’t tell, haha) and she isn’t completely kicking my ass and I’m holding my own. IT’S A MIRACLE! Heh.

(Photos coming soon!)

My mom has wanted to go Is.tanbul for the longest time but it was a destination I didn’t really think of. Europe is still probably my favourite place because I’m a major sucker for the history of the western civilization and Europe is home to that. In my mind, it was always London, Paris, Rome (and those are truly my top 3 favourites) but never Is.tanbul.

I admit I was wrong.

It’s still London, Paris, Rome for me but I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on Ista.nbul. It’s similar to those major European cities yet different in a very unique way. Ist.anbul is at the crossroads of the Europe and Asia and it shows. It displays its dual nature in a very charming and somehow coherent manner, without jarring you too much or making you too aware of the contradictions.

(more…)

Okay, I’m supposed to have blogged and picspammed about my holiday by now but I confess I’ve been lazy. LAZY. And inspirationless. It will be up by tomorrow, I will try my darnest.

Also, I AM AN IDIOT. Just a stupid stupid fool when it comes to boys.

That is all.

09/01 update: AAAARGHHH. I’ve spent the last 2 hours or so resizing pics etc and I’m only maybe half-way through. (Bear in mind, we have like 1000+ pics  from the trip in total and I have to look thru them, decide which ones to post, resize, caption, etc etc. Sighhhh. ) BAH. To be continued another time. :\ I’m gonna go chill and read now.

I’M BACKKKKKK! :) :)

Ist.anbul was friggin’ fabulous but for now I AM EXPERIENCING A CRISIS OF THE TBB-VARIETY. *facepalm*

So okay, despite having had no sleep on the flight back, I went online to check email etc etc… and I went to his site to see something about WINNING A DATE WITH HIM?!?! And then I freaked out and checked out the details. It’s organized by the Ma.lay radio station here, R.ia and all you need to do is send in your biodata or portfolio (Like wtf?!? Do they need to see how good-looking you are?!? Does he have final say on who is picked? Hahahaha!) and say why he should pick you in less than 50 words.

Here’s the crisis: AM I FUCKIN’ INSANE ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY TAKE PART? Have I actually reached this point?!? And if I am crazy enough to try it, I have to say those 50 words in M.ALAY???? OH GODDD, NOOOOOO. That’s my Achilles heel, right there. DAMNIT.

So, my friends, I NEED your advice. Yes? No? Maybe? Should I just throw whatever dignity I have left to the winds on the off-chance that I do win this damn thing? The fates just continue to mock me in the new year by dangling this in front of me. GAH!

Talk me out of this. Or you can give me advice on how to win. But I think, please, talk me out of this. I still have some pride left. *headdesk*

(I need to go catch up on my sleep now. Long rambly post and picspam on the hols will be coming soon!)