when did it all unwind?
I’ve been like a freakin’ worker bee the past two weeks. I need a time-out but I’m not gonna get one.
Work is the busiest ever. Two on-going projects and two corporate schemes coming back to haunt me. Leaving on time is a treat rather than the norm. I do like feeling useful and actually contributing so I don’t mind it too much. But sometimes, I wish things would slow down a little and I’d get a moment to chill. Those moments are few and far between nowadays and they’re usually self-proclaimed, hahahaha.
Add to that my dance commitments. Still attending Thursday classes and the occasional SWu class. The killer is my Sunday 3-10pm rehearsals. Oh. My. Godddd. It’s just major choreography overload and I end the day feeling mentally and physically drained. And there’s the long trip to and from N.US, which zaps any remaining energy I have. Even better, I have now another session of rehearsal on Friday nights. Niiiiice. This is what I get for being over-ambitious, friends.
Then there’s time with family, friends and with myself. Between all that and getting enough sleep to function like a coherent human being, there are not enough hours in the day.
I’ve also returned to that vortex of dancer insecurity which both irritates and scares me. I thought I had moved beyond that shit but noooo, it’s back with a bloody vengeance. Ughhh. I’m second-guessing myself during rehearsals and being so self-conscious and I HATE IT. Hatehatehateeee. What perplexes me the most is that I feel okay during classes; somehow it’s just rehearsals that suck the confidence out of me. I need to figure out what’s going on inside my head and counter it. I’m psyching myself out before the game even begins! It’s ridiculous and frustrating.
The biggest, best upside to all this is, of course, the fact that I’m leaving for NYC next Friday! Aaaaaah! It feels surreal… and I almost feel like I’m not ready to go, especially with my current headspace with regards to my dancing. Good timing, huh? Haha. Well done, self. Logistics are all mostly settled, thank goodness. So that stress is very minimal. Still got some details to iron out, some things to research on, some errands to run and I’ll have to squeeze in the time somehow. Need to start packing. I haven’t yet bought tickets to see D.Cook cos the tickets still suck… I’m super tempted by some deals on crai.gslist but I’m holding out for Ti.cketmaster to release betters seats so I’ll just have pay face value instead of an inflated price. That’s been the trend with the dates so far so… *crosses fingers and toes* I was thinking of getting him a Singa.pore-related gift but I have no freakin’ idea and time is running out and there’s no guarantee that I’ll get to meet him. It’s too stressful being a fangirl yo.
So that’s the cliff notes version of my life so far. I was thinking about a funny coincidence ther other day: the August I turned 21, I spent it in NYC (and then NC). And now, the August I turn 25 (an age that is somewhat of a milestone as well) I’ll be spending in NYC too. Coinkidink! But an awesome one. :)