Over and done.
The past 3 weeks of stress, lack of sleep and self-inflicted pressure has finally come to an end. So many hours of rehearsals just for 5 minutes in the lights, and sometimes it makes you wonder if it’s worth it. But I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love it, so it’s a good thing I love it a lot.
To my great relief, the shows turned out very well. I was afraid of getting a brain freeze and forgetting choreography because I kept dropping steps during rehearsals. Not fun at all. I didn’t want to obviously screw up during the shows. And thank goodness, I didn’t; well, nothing glaringly obvious anyway, hahahaha. I know that I made some tiny mistakes and tried my best to smoke my way through. It’s all about the recovery. Heh.
The funny thing was that the choreography was ingrained in my muscle memory more than I thought it was. For all my angsting, I did know it well enough to let go and enjoy myself. Phewww. And it was a lot of fun to be performing again. I’m not the most extroverted person but whatever extroversion that exists in me comes out when I’m on stage. It’s peculiar but there’s like a safety in baring yourself on stage, the feeling that you can be anyone you wanna be and do anything.
From what I heard, the alumni item got very good response/feedback from the audience. Well, firstly it was evident from the applause (heh!) but apparently people did also say that it was the most impressive out of the bunch. Which is a major relief because, y’know, that’s the way it should be; it’d be sad that the alumni wasn’t one of the better ones! But I don’t necessarily think it was better cos of the choreography but rather the execution. We’ve all had stage experience, we know how to work it, we know how to sell it. And I think that elevated the item because we danced it with so much confidence and conviction. There were a lot of expectations so I’m glad we met them.
I really enjoyed P o plicious cos it was just plain fun. It’s different from the LAHH/LHH style I always gravitate towards, but I like it a lot cos it taps into a different side of my dancer personality. It’s like sassy and fierce. LOL. B a c k to Basics was more in my wheelhouse in terms of vibe; still, I struggled a bit with Can dy’s groove and felt awkward in it for a long time. Plus, that item is a complete energy-zapper; I was like half-dead after it, hahaha.
So yeah, I danced in the R hythm Sty lus-choreographed items, which is a good way to get familiar with everyone else’s choreographical vision. And now there’s a different kind of stress on me, which is the stress of creating something of my own. I’m definitely inspired by some of the stuff I saw onstage and I’m excited-scared about doing something that would be so completely 100% me. But I will. I hope that if the opportunity presents itself, I’ll be able to choreograph something at the next concert. It would be about damn time, right? Hahahaha. But that’s two years in the future so let’s start with baby steps first.
The most fun though was hanging out with everyone. Stupid jokes, bitching about anything and everything, cam-whoring. Haha. Good times. There was some major Rhy thm Styl us cam-whoring. We took a lot of quirky group photos: in the cupboard, in the toilet (yeah wtf, I know), in the stairway, with a fire hose (yeah, another wtf moment), in the hallway, with various props. So we got a lot of potential youtu.be profile pics for the RS account. Hahahaha! Who needs a professional photoshoot? Not us! There’s a huge barrage of photos on Fa cebook, it’s MADNESSSSS!
I don’t know yet what I feel about my own performance; I’ll wait for the videos to emerge because I pass judgement on myself. Hahaaa. But in that moment in time, I felt good during all three shows. Most nervous-excited about the matinee cos it was the 1st and the friends I had invited to come were watching that one. So, heart was pumping. I was pretty much comatose after that, since I was fasting (BRUTALLLLL TO THE MAX, OMG!). I think I savored the other 2 shows a bit more; as in, I let the stress fall away completely and just told myself to enjoy. Because that’s what it’s about: being in that moment and experiencing it instead of letting it pass you by.
Actually saw a number of people I knew during all the shows. Other dancers, other b la stards who were no longer dancing, the other a lumni etc. It was good to see the turnout and to hear that people liked the show. A fellow dancer said I had improved a lot, which was the Ho ly Grail of compliments to me. That srsly made my day. A w i told me that I looked good on stage, which was also a lovely compliment (although… slightly ambiguous? Haha). And I got a few “you’re hot” comments which was nice, but I actually had a mixed inner-reaction to that stuff cos I always wonder if they’re referencing my dancing or the way I look or both or whatttt? (Yeah I have a whole long rant brewing in my mind on that topic which I will surely word-vomit soon enough so you’ll hear about it.) It’s not a bad thing, definitely, but I’m ambivalent about the true meaning behind it.
So I survived. More than survived, if I give myself a bit more credit. Hahahah. Working and dancing was an absolutely draining experience but y’know, despite it all, I wouldn’t have changed anything. I just love to dance and I can’t imagine not being a part of this performance in some way. Like it would kill me to be in the audience instead of under the bright lights. So I did what I had to do and I’m glad. And I’m also relieved to now have my evenings and weekends back, because had I gone on any longer, I wouldn’t have survived. Because while the mind was willing, the body was suffering pretty badly.
But you know me, I can’t stay away. I’m dancing in the O S chool recital (HELLL YESSSSS!!1!!), thanks to lovely R yan who let me into his and G in’s item despite me not being in town during the auditions. WOOOO! (Yaya, stop giving me that death glare. LOL.) And yes, rehearsals have started. Again, an opportunity I could not resist. It’s only 2x a week so I won’t be as psychotically busy and I look forward to learning from them again because I feel like I can be so much better. I’m really psyched cos y’know I LOVE LAHH/LHH. Hehehe.
What can I say, I’m a dance addict. ;)
P/S: Thank you for coming to watch; you know who you are! :D Esp the posse who pretty much turn up all the time to watch me dance. It means a lot, really.
